THE MARINES ALWAYS WIN ! ! !

This one is dedicated to my good buddy Frenchy the Marine, Legionnaire and Wild Hog - S.L.


Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, a Marine sat down in the aisle. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a Coke."

"Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines' shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too."

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines' other shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?"


And the moral of this story is . . .




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AT THE DMV

Waiting in line all day at two different government bureaucracies . . . all because I need a Pennsylvania state driver's license, so I won't be a VIOLATOR . . .

"Do you have two forms of ID?"

"Yes, here's my passport, and here's my US military ID."

"US military ID is no good."

"W-H-A-A-A-?-?-?"

"Because you don't have to be a US citizen to become a member of the US military."

"I know that - I wasn't a citizen when I signed up. But you can't be in twenty-plus years and make it to retirement without becoming a US citizen, and this is a RETIRED US military ID.  And anyway, this is a US PASSPORT, right here."

"Sorry, you will need your Social Security card, to get a Pennsylvania state driver’s license."

"My SOCIAL SECURITY CARD ? ? ? I haven't seen hide nor hair of THAT thing since before I joined the Army! And it doesn't even have a photograph on it, signature, nothing. Come to think of it, you don’t need to be a US citizen to get a Social Security number, anyway. I wasn’t, when I got mine. Besides, this US military ID card has my Social Security number ON IT."

"Sorry, sir; but you can join the US military without being a US citizen . . ."

Next stop, the Social Security Administration. That actually wasn't so bad - once you get over the government propaganda being transmitted over a 65-inch plasmatron, and the WAITING. They had The Social Security Story going in a fifteen-minute loop, so I got to watch of how FDR and Social Security saved America from the Great Depression about eight times over. This makes me wonder, of course, if putting people on the government dole is what it takes to get an economy out of the doldrums, then why don't we put EVERYBODY on the government payroll - we'll be back on track to being the greatest, richest, most powerful society in the history of the world, times ten million. Funny thing is, I thought World War II had something to do with it, and of course there was no mention of Social Security being a giant Ponzi scheme - but what do I know? I'm a philosopher, not an economist.

Back at the DMV - wife TigerLily is going nuts: "HEY! Our numbah neary rup, an dey CHANGE-A NUMBAH! I go up there, ask 'em whatta hell go on heah?"

"You got get 'em, TigerLily! Give 'em that angry Oriental routine!"

Guy in front of me turns around. "Man, I've got my passport, my Honorable Discharge from the Marine Corps . . ."

"That ain't good enough, man. Military means nothin' to these people."

"I'm nobody special or nothin', but its like four generations of my family served in the military - one of 'em a Medal of Honor recipient."

"You better not tell them THAT, they'll treat you like a second-class citizen!"

"NUMBER 369!"

"Oh that's us honey, let's go up there."

"Are you Mrs. TigerLily Stormbringer?"

"Yes."

"Please look into the eye exam machine.  What color do you see?"

"Red."

"And what does red mean?"

"Red mean Stop."

"What color do you see now?"

"Green."

"And what does green mean?"

"Go."

"What color do you see now?"

"Yellow."

"And what does yellow mean?"

"Yellow mean . . . GO FASTER."

"Very good, Ma’am. Now sign here, and here. Now go over there and have your picture taken. NEXT!"


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GENERAL JONES WAS PUSHED OUT

The official story is that National Security Adviser James Jones agreed to leave early. But a senior White House aide tells, "the time was right to bring forward his departure."

When James Jones took the job of National Security Adviser to President-elect Barack Obama, he was entering unfamiliar territory. A retired Marine general, he was no stranger to bureaucracy or politics: after all, he had held down the post of Supreme Allied Commander at the politically fraught NATO Headquarters in Brussels.

Yet Jones seemingly never fit in the Obama Whitehouse — a sentiment confirmed Friday, when he announced he was stepping down. But contrary to official reports, there was more to the timing than the ripple effects of Rahm's Emanuel's departure. "We're making a lot of changes now with Rahm leaving, and there was a sense of just, 'Let's get this done now,'" said one senior Obama aide.

Read the whole thing HERE.


I met General Jone's secretary once, years ago down in Key West. She was a good looking girl in her thirties, and a Gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps Reserve. The teamies pushed me in her direction because we were both in the same age group - I was the Old Man on the team, even then. We hung out for a couple of days in Key West - unfortunately it never went anywhere. That was a couple of years before the encounter in the Lesbian bar down there; the two anecdotes are unrelated.

OK, now I can see that I owe you guys the Key West Chronicles - give me a couple of days to get my story straight . . .


. . . SEAN LINNANE SENDS



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USMC FORCE RECON TAKES DOWN PIRATE SHIP

This heroic operation took place last week . . . -S.L.




Over a 48 hour period, the 15th MEU/PELARG team conducted offensive air operations in Afghanistan resulting in the deaths of 5 confirmed enemy fighters, provided disaster relief in Pakistan to 120 victims who had been without aid since July, and seized a pirated vessel, rescuing a crew of 11 hostages and detaining 9 suspected pirates off the coast of Somalia. A busy couple of days and an impressive battle-rhythm by any standard for this dynamic Navy-Marine Corps team.


Read it here


"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem." - Ronald Reagan.



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